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The Once and Future Zorro
20 most recent entries

Date:2006-04-28 12:32
Subject:I DID IT.



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Date:2006-04-25 00:01
Subject:Charlotte: Rest in Peace.

Charlotte, the cat who has been with Kendall since she was a little girl, is moving on into the next life today. Charlotte has greeted me on Kendall's front porch almost every time I've ever been there. When all the other pets are wild and erratic, Charlotte has always stayed cool. Sometimes I would see her look at the other, newer pets in the house and glare at them and it was always so funny. She has always had this world-weary air to her and could definitely be a bitch, much like Kendall. Also like Kendall, she was fiercely independent like no other pet. Charlotte did not like to be picked up, because she always liked to be in control of what she was doing, but that didn't make her non-affectionate. She loved to have someone pet her and she had one of the most happy-sounding purrs of any cat. She was also capable of some of the most frightening hisses and those cat growls that are like mean meows, and I loved her for it. She was a cat who was not afraid to show you what she thought about something. And when Molly first came to Kendall's house, she was sure that Charlotte would love to rough-house and play with her, but it didn't take a full week of Charlotte growling and slapping Molly across the nose for Molly to get the message, and she hasn't really bothered Charlotte since. Charlotte was also the only cat I've ever seen who was an outdoor cat by choice. She's come inside occasionally, but not without making it known that she'd rather be outside, even in the rain. I love Charlotte and she will be missed, but I take comfort in the knowledge that she has lived one of the longest, most full life of any cat around, and she won't be in pain anymore very soon.

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Date:2006-04-19 00:43
Subject:That thing that everyone is talking about.

I was on the fence about doing one of these, while simultaneously saying that I'd give in when Eric did. Then, when I finally gave in, I signed on a saw Eric had done one as well, so there are no excuses now.

1. I know that I have never hurt anyone in my life in the way that I hurt you, and I cannot begin to apologize enough for that. You drive me absolutely insane sometimes, but I love you more than anything in the world, and for those times when I don't let you know that, I am truly sorry.

2. Although I am significantly older than you (especially when compared to the rest of our friends), there is no one I can think of who I have looked up to for as long as I've looked up to you. You've introduced me to so many of the things I've become interested in in my life, and I'm eternally grateful.

3. You two frustrate me on a level that no one else can, but recently I've been able to step outside of myself and understand your position. I hope someday that you'll be able to understand mine.

4. I lost all respect for you when you got expelled from school, and I haven't gained it back since. (Hahaha. I'm just kidding. I know I told you I'd start some fake drama on here about you, but I can't bring myself to say anything mean about you, even in jest.) Actually, the thing you wrote about me is pretty fitting for right back at you. There was a period of time that I had a problem with you, and I can't quite tell you what it might have been. I think mine was near the end of MY time in high school, but whatever. Who the fuck cares now? You are one of the most stand-up guys I know and you're probably one of the most level-headed and intelligent out of all of us.

5. Before this year, I couldn't have imagined just hanging out with you and not a huge group, but I'm not really sure why. Since everything has gotten so busy lately, I really miss our weekend chill-out times. And I am so happy for you with your "the condition your condition is in."

6. You have shown me what it really is like to feel betrayed.

7. You're a really good person, and I don't believe you did anything on purpose, but you more or less crushed me as a human being for many years and many other people have been forced to deal with the wreckage you left behind.

8. A lot of people have romanticized you and your past with us, but as far as I'm concerned, you've been gone for a very long time in one way or another. This is just one more pathetic attempt to be cool and accepted in a long line of them. At you aren't as much of an asshole now as you were in your previous few incarnations.

9. You are a really cool guy, but you gotta chill out sometimes.

10. You seemed to come into my life right as someone else seemed to leave and the tradeoff was totally in our favor.

11. I rarely spend any time with you anymore, we've both changed quite a bit since we found that we had a lot in common in a group that we didn't fit into at all, but I still feel a strong connection to you and would consider you a close friend still.

12. I don't think anyone will ever really understand your motivations in life, including you.

13. You are the one person on earth (although, supposedly, technically you are two people) who I really, truly hate with every fiber of my being. You represent everything that I believe is wrong with the world and you are praised up and down for it. I may not be as recognized as you, but at least I still have my soul. You are worthless, thieving, empty, shallow, heartless, greedy. I wish death on you all the time, but honestly, I hope that you outlive your popularity and assumed usefullness by several decades, so that you can sit in some whole and contemplate your empire of cards that disappeared, leaving you shrivelled up and used, a hollow shell with no soul to fill it. I'm not bold enough to say that I'll ever be a huge success in anything I do, but if I ever do get major recognition, I hope you find out about it on your lowest day, and I hope THAT is what kills you.

There. I know everyone is doing intervals of five, but 13 is my number. I'm sticking with it. Guess away.

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Date:2006-04-16 21:12

Just want to let folks know, I updated my fotki with all the photos from Kyle's Birthday weekend. Check it.

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Date:2006-03-10 00:42

I have been planning to write this entry for a week or two, but now that Ian and Blake have both written beard related entries, I find it even more necessary that I write this.
I've uncovered a special secret society, I think.
On Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry and Jeff have a discussion about Larry's tendency to hire bald men and similarly Jeff's same tendency toward fat people.
(Please note: These statistics are estimations based on personal experience and have not been tested scientifically at all.)
When a person walks down a crowded street, not many people smile or nod or acknowledge the person. I would say it is somewhere around 1 in 10 people.
On the other hand, a bearded person will find that 4 in 5 bearded persons will smile or nod or acknowledge their existence.
I think there is some sort of beard conspiracy. Maybe it's something like Blake's beard party, or is it Beard Party?
Think about it.

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Date:2006-03-08 19:16
Subject:An open letter.

Dear Wendy's:
I just had the Turkey and Swiss sandwich from your new Frescata line of deli sandwiches, and I must say, I was not impressed. Yes, I know that deli sandwiches are what all the cool fast food restaurants are doing these days, but come on, Wendy's is not about being hip. Have you seen your logo lately? It says Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers. Old Fashioned. Got that? And look at your late CEO, the great Dave Thomas--God rest his soul--he realized that his appeal, and his restaurant's appeal wasn't in its attention to trends, but in its attention to good food and its everyman persona. The deli thing is part of this whole fast-food-gets-healthy trend, but you did the exchange-your-fries-for-a-salad-at-no-charge thing with your combos, and that was more than adequate. I appreciate your noble attempt at a deli line, but it's time to give it up. Leave the deli stuff to the deli pros and stick to what you know you're good at doing: making delicious fast food at affordable prices. I don't think I would have forgiven a lesser restaurant for this fiasco, but I can't stay mad at you. Besides, you had me at "10-piece all white meat chicken nugget combo." Just take a little time to think out your actions before you go off all half-cocked and try to be the hero. Remember, WWDD? What would Dave do? He never steered you wrong. Keep that in mind and it will be smooth sailing from here.


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Date:2006-03-01 12:32
Subject:"Chalk" this one up to a good guess.

Today I was walking around campus and (Well, wait, to effectively explain this, I must establish a fact about the University of Louisville campus, because I don't know if this occurs on other campuses. At U of L, when a fraternity or other student group wants to advertise an event, the make elaborate chalk advertisements on the sidewalk. With that said,) I saw an advertisement for a fraternity having a Toga Party (Yes, apparently these still happen) and it said "Girls get in free with toga." And a little bit after that, I saw an ad for some fraternity's pajama party and it said "Girls free if in PJs." And I was thinking, what a great (and by great, I mean terrible and evil) system these frat boys have. They just throw a party and decide on some theme that puts women in as little clothing as possible and then they reap the benefits. In my head, I sarcastically remarked, why don't they have bathing suit parties or underwear parties or parties where "Naked girls get in free and get free beer" or something. And sure enough, I walk a little further, and some fraternity is having a beach party where "Girls in beach attire get in free." How wonderful. And by wonderful, I mean fuck them.

On a similar note, around Valentines Day, there was a big chalk ad for some fraternity's "VDay Party" and some genius (and I actually mean genius) had washed away the "ay" from "VDay" and for good measure had written underneath that, "No Girls Allowed." I don't know who this person is, but I want to shake his/her hand.

P.S. New shit up on the Fotki.

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Date:2006-02-16 00:51
Subject:Not doing the shit I should be doing.

This weekend, when Keeler was in town, I found out that Keeler has an interesting habit: when a new candy bar or special limited edition candy bar comes out, his curiosity gets the best of him and he has to buy it to find out what it's like. While driving around with Keeler, I had the pleasure of trying some sort of Double Chocolate Reese's Cup and a Creamy Fudge Hersey Bar. They were both excellent. Today, I was getting something to drink at the StopGap (or whatever it's called these days) and I saw that Twix has a new Peanut Butter Twix bar out and I decided that I must try it. It was quite good, although it has a very heavy feel. It's basically a normal Twix bar but with that strip of caramel taken out and replaced with peanut butter. It reminded me a lot of Nutty Bars. So, if you like Nutty Bars, but don't like feeling like your grandpa, this might be the thing for you.
Also, you know how people open Twix bars in commercials? Like, they unwrap the paper around the candy bars, so that the person is holding an open ended tube of candy bar wrapper, with two sticks of chocolatey goodness sticking out? Well, you can't really open the wrapper that way. You know, like in real life, you have to rely on the zig zaggy edges of the wrapper and therefore tear the wrapper open longways. Why can't they make a little perforation in that little overlapping flap on the back? Then you could open the wrapper all cool like in the commercials. I'm shouting "false advertiement" from the rooftops.
P.S. For historical purposes, everyone make a note: Dick Cheney is the first Vice President to shoot a guy in over 200 years. The last one was when Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton ("You could call me Aaron Burr, with all the Hamiltons I'm droppin'."). Just something to think about.

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Date:2006-02-15 01:43
Subject:Lyrically perform armed robbery.

I jacked this from Ian, so here it is:

1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my lj:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favourite place to be:
11. favourite lyric:
12. best time of the year:
13. best album of 2005:

1. a film:
2. a book:
3. a band, a song and an album:

1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you.
4. post a picture of yourself

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Date:2006-01-30 00:36
Subject:Washington's Farewell Address.

I find this kind of odd, though I am in no way ashamed of it:
I just finished one of the most emotionally compelling books I've read in a long time: Washington, the Indispensable Man by James Thomas Flexner. If you haven't guessed or haven't heard me talking about it, it is about George Washington, our first president.
Honestly, I was repeatedly impressed by all that this man did for our country. I am not usually what one would call a patriotic person, but this book did give me a certain degree of pride that if nothing else, this country started out in the hands of a great man.
The last chapter, "Death of a Hero" was very upsetting. I didn't actually cry, as I don't tend to get driven to that extreme by books, movies, and the like, but I was definitely very affected and had to just sit in silence for a few minutes after finishing it. I was just really struck by Washington's strength, even in his last moments, yet his humanity and frailty was also very painfully clear. Doctors now know that Washington died a fairly slow and terribly painful death, but the closest he came to showing the degree of pain he was feeling was when he told a doctor, "I die hard, but I am not afraid to go... My breath cannot last long." He later added "I feel myself going. I thank you for your attention. You had better not take any more trouble about me; but let me go quietly; I cannot last long." The formality of these words coupled with the concern for others and calmness in the nearness of death is incredibly touching.
In his last hours, the doctors recorded that Washington's main concern was in asking what time it was, which so reminds me of my own grandma's last hours. He also became afraid of being buried alive in his last moments and told his secretary, who was there, "I am just going. Have me decently buried, and do not let my body be put into the vault in less than three days after I am dead. Do you understand me?" His secretary said, "Yes, sir," and Washington then uttered his last words, "'Tis well."
More heart-wrenching is Washington's last action. He pulled his hand away from the grasp of his secretary, and reached over to his other wrist, to take his own pulse. Right as his hand reached his wrist, the hand went limp and he was gone.

I would seriously recommend this book to anyone. As I said, it is one of the best books I've read in the past few months. Which places it among Capote, Bukowski, and Salinger.

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Date:2006-01-26 23:47

Okay, listen to this shit:
I went to visit my parents tonight. I left the house at 10:00. My cell phone had died earlier while it rested in my pocket, and I knew that Kendall was going to be calling me, so I was kind of in a hurry to get home, so she wouldn't be worrying.
So I pull out onto 111 into sitting traffic. Fucking train.
After the train was gone, traffic continued to sit. As it turns out, during the stopping for the train, TWO wrecks occured. TWO different dumbasses rear-ended the cars in front of them instead of stopping for the train.
After this, when I got onto the highway, I had to merge onto 65 south, but it had been funneled down to one lane, the LEFT lane, prior to my exit, so traffic creeped as the already slow-moving cars full of pissed off people crammed into a single lane occasionally let one of us join the line.
When I finally got home, the parking lot was full because of FUCKING RUSH WEEK, so I had to park across the street.
All in all, my 10 minute drive took 50 FUCKING minutes!
Luckily for me, I had just watched The Aristocrats earlier today, so I had plenty of new vocab words to yell in my car.
Also, I came to a conclusion today: A lot of people carry guns in their cars for their own safety. Me, on the other hand? I don't carry a gun in my car, for others' safety.

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Date:2006-01-08 20:12

I'm sort of planning on writing a longer-ish year-in-review thing on here, but I don't really feel like it right now. Suffice it to say, I'm back in my dorm, and glad about that, but not-so-glad that classes start tomorrow.
The real reason I'm making an entry now is that I got a Fotki and Eric wanted me to put up pictures from his house last night. My Fotki is here:

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Date:2005-12-03 01:39

You know, I've playing around with my interests on here. I was thinking about putting odd things that I like that are really specific and strange. I figured it would be funny if most of my interests were not underlined. I came up with this one night at Bryan's when the subject of my love for holding cats like babies came up. So anyway, I started putting up some of my stranger interests and I was surprised to find out how many of them were actually shared by other people on here. So here is a list of really specific things that I put in my interest list, but I'm not the only one:
being elitist
drawing on desks
having random obsessions
making up nicknames
not dressing up
not taking naps
reading while driving (I've actually had this one up since I got this thing, but the whole time it has been underlined. So I'm not the only one.)
setting things on fire (this one doesn't surprise me that much really.)

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Date:2005-12-03 01:27

Why the fuck can't I ever find a goddamn scissor when I need one?

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Date:2005-11-21 01:57

I just saw a commercial for King Kong: the game of the movie and realised my next goal as a writer: I am going to do a novelization of the game of the movie. And then, maybe RFC can do a movie about the book about the game about the movie about the original movie. Then, if we had an original score, we could release King Kong: the soundtrack to the movie about the book about the game about the movie about the original movie. How awesome would that be? And then later, if someone came up with interpretive dances for the songs on the soundtrack...
The opportunities are ENDLESS. This King Kong franchise is HUGE.

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Date:2005-11-18 01:56
Subject:It's raining men?

Kendall and I went to see The Weatherman, which was really pretty good. It is fairly obvious the Nicholas Cage realized he is much better as an angst-ridden middle-class white guy than as an action hero, so the movie is a little Adaptation-y, but obviously that isn't a bad thing. And Michael Caine is excellent in it. (And he defines, in detail, the slang term "cameltoe," which is hilarious because it is Michael fuckin' Caine saying it.)
P.S. Eric, I've been looking for you online lately. I'm working on a website for ME (like music and writing both) and I wanted to ask you if you could write me a bio. I'm tired of biographizing myself. If you have time and want to, it would be much appreciated. Write it however you want and as long or short as you want, just remember that it is for my music stuff and my writing. Thanks dude.

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Date:2005-11-13 01:45

Kendall and I saw Good Night, And Good Luck tonight. That movie is amazing and so unfortunately poignant right now. I would highly recommend that everyone go see it.
"We cannot defend freedom abroad by denying freedom at home."

Good night, and good luck.

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Date:2005-11-07 22:38
Subject:...So the Devil will know who sent you.

I finally saw The Legend of Zorro today. Kendall and I were in a theatre completely by ourselves, which is just as well, because I am sure that anyone who knows me at all can guess how I reacted during that movie. A hint: it was pretty similar to how I behaved when I saw American Outlaws for the first time at Planet Party. Remember, Eric?
Let's just say, if there was ever any question about my obsession with Zorro, it has been resolved today. The fight scene, on the train, let me just say, Holy Shit. Man, Zorro is SUCH a badass.

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Date:2005-11-04 00:59
Subject:2001:A Space Odyssey vs. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

I was off work today. I had a very leisurely day planned for myself. I had just eaten lunch and was enjoying my newly purchased 2001:A Space Odyssey, when my mom called me and informed me that a pipe had burst in my room. So I went home and sure enough, my room had flooded for I believe the fifth time since I've graduated high school. And each time I just end up losing more fucking stuff. I'm sick and goddamn tired of it. Eh.
I had intended on writing a relatively lengthy entry about all this, but I realized that I don't feel like it.

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Date:2005-11-02 00:46

I just wanted to make sure that everyone knows about FCR's four newest releases.

FCR-11: Bryan P Dominik- Dead Men Talk Less
FCR-12: Eric Condon- "Humored"
FCR-13: Anthony Bowman- Anthony Bowman is Still Okay
FCR-14: Batterie- Batterie

Please visit Flaming Chip Records' official website for more information and as always, we appreciate your patronage.
Cross-posted to FCRFriends.

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